Being diagnosed with a pelvic floor dysfunction or diastasis recti is difficult (to put it lightly).
The day I was diagnosed with my prolapse and diastasi recti was devastating.
The physical pain and symptoms I experienced were tough to manage.
BUT what was even more difficult was dealing the EMOTIONS that came along with my diagnosis’s.
I felt like an unattractive 90 year old who would never exercise again or heal. The up and down mood swings that I experienced inhibited me from being the social outgoing person I truly was. According to society having a pelvic floor dysfunction or diastasis recti should be kept “private” because perhaps it is “shameful” or “disgusting.”
The constant mood swings I experienced affected my daily life… What was I doing wrong? Was I going to make everything worse? Could I do this exercise or that exercise? I better search the internet for a quick solution. Just going kegels must be the answer. No wait kegel balls? Dammit I feel worse today. I did something wrong again. My friends annoy me, they never had to deal with any of this. WHY ME!? I blame the doctors who delivered my child. I’m gross. My husband won’t find me attractive. I will never heal. I never should have given birth.
Who was I supposed to talk to? Who would even understand me? None of my friends dealt with this. I was 26 years old.
The worst of all is when people say, “Just be happy that your baby is healthy.” YES of course this matters, like seriously people, I know. BUT I’m not sure if you know this, but my PHYSICAL and MENTAL health matters too.
Now that you’ve heard a little bit about my emotional struggles. I want you to listen to me… THERE IS SO MUCH HOPE.
STOP. AND. LISTEN. WHEN. I. SAY. STOP. BLAMING. YOURSELF.
It seriously got me no where and it won’t get you anywhere either.
I healed & SO CAN YOU!
Healing has its ups and downs. Healing is NOT linear.
Remember that healing looks different for everyone. It can mean that the doctor tells you you are healed or it can mean that you no longer experience symptoms or it can mean whatever you want it to mean. Maybe it means that it no longer limits you in your daily life.
This picture really says it all.
It took me nearly two years to feel less symptoms and to heal.
I have been told my multiple doctors and pelvic floor physical therapists that I am healed. But I STILL experience heaviness when I have my period and/or if I squeeze my abs or suck in my tummy lots.
I still have ups and downs. AND I’ve learned that it’s ok. I am not a failure & neither are you.
I am doing the best I can & so are you.
My advice to you (and remember I don’t have all the answers. I am just sharing what I wish someone would have shared with me):
- Seek help from a pelvic floor physical therapist who is willing to get you back to the activities you love & who will sit and listen to your concerns.
- Surround yourself with people who will listen to you. Who support you & who do not down play the seriousness of the struggles you are experiencing.
- Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
- Seek extra support from a counsellor (like I did).
- Research Julie Wiebe’s website/blogs and her free YouTube content… she believes everyone can heal. OR take her individual pelvic floor course.
- Save the photo I posted above.
- Stop searching for reasons why this happened. Young girls and even men have pelvic floor dysfunctions and diastasis recti. There are many contributing factors. None of which are your fault.
- DON’T search the internet!
-Kathleen (Momma Inspiration)