To all my fellow mom’s with pelvic floor issues,
I understand you. I understand the anger and depression you are feeling. I understand how betrayed you feel by your body, by your medical staff and the postpartum care you have received. I understand how it’s easier to give up, how you feel like your life is over, and how it sometimes feels easier not to exist. I know how it feels to feel completely isolated, alone, and embarrassed. I understand how it feels not to feel like yourself. I UNDERSTAND YOU.
A little glimpse into my feelings when I was first diagnosed…
Wait? Did the doctor just tell me that I have a prolapse? This can’t be real. I’m 28, I’ve had 1 child, and I’ve taken good care of myself. This isn’t happening. K What? Did the doctor just tell me that I can’t run, do pushups, play sports, or lift heavier than 20 pounds? This can’t be real. I must be dreaming. I can’t stop crying, why am I crying? Things will get better, won’t they? I look up as my doctor continues to explain to me that most women don’t have a prolapse until they are in their 70s. What? Ok, what the hell is wrong with my body? Why did my body do this? I hate my body. I hate myself. This is embarrassing. Why do I feel so heavy, why does it feel like everything is falling out? I just want to feel normal. WHY don’t I feel normal? Can’t I just feel normal again? I’m 5 months postpartum, why didn’t they find this before? WHY?
Fast forward to 9 months postpartum, the day I decided to change my mindset…
After months of depression, with the help of my husband, I finally understood that worrying, crying, and feeling depressed were getting me no where. I decided that I was going to think with a positive mindset. No more negative thoughts (this took a lot of hard work, it didn’t happen over night). I studied, I took Julie Wiebe’s courses, I went to a pelvic floor physical therapist, and I never gave up. I worked on my posture, my breathing, my ab gripping, and I became a personal trainer. I am 18 months postpartum and I doing push-ups, running and lifting heavy weight. I smile, I laugh, and most importantly I feel like myself again. I have found happiness again, and it is possible for you too. What I eventually learned was that my body DID NOT GIVE UP ON ME. My body warned me that I needed to slow down, and take care of myself. It helped me deliver the most precious baby in the world, safely, and it continues to help me heal and recover from a prolapse. It wasn’t my body’s fault. It was the LACK OF EDUCATION in our society on how women should rehabilitate their bodies after they have a baby. I’m glad I didn’t give up because I wouldn’t be where I am today. If you are like me and you have pelvic floor issues, you can make a difference in the world, for our friends, family members, and our daughters. I am DETERMINED to help improve women’s health care, and hope that I will make a difference in many lives.
There is so much hope. You are not alone. There are thousands of us suffering in silence. It is up to us to fight for better care, support each other, and to voice what is happening to us. I am fighting for all women and I hope you will too.
Kathleen Germs ***Momma Inspiration
Link to Julie Wiebe’s program: